I’m not talking about the kind of “development” most of us women X’ers remember from the book “Are you there God, its me Margret.” I’m speaking of job development and the phenomenon of forced mentoring.
A prime example….I was enjoying a nice latte with a fellow Generation X’er friend while she was venting about a recent conversation she had with her supervisor. Here is the brief synopsis of what happened:
Friend: I’m really excited to share some opportunities for change in this department and am passionate about not loosing this department to a regional center model. I think there are a lot of things we could change here that would make us more effective and a better place to work.
Supervisor (of the boomer variety): Um yeah…we prefer to keep doing things the way we have been doing them, we have been quite successful. Moving from a local relationship driven service to a regional center is how we are moving and where we are going. Get on board with the change we are suggesting. Don’t you want to be developed professionally? You obviously NEED me to mentor you for more experience.
Friend: laughs…initially thinking she was joking about needing experience and a mentor-after all, she’s been in this field for nearly 15 years and is not wet behind the years. She then realizes her supervisor was serious-she really did challenge her development and experience….thus what led up to the commiserating over coffee with me.
I am not personally opposed to mentoring or development-but it must be from somebody I WANT to emulate, whose values and choices I believe in, not have somebody stuff their idea of what I need down my throat. Does this make me less loyal to my organization? Does it mean I don’t value what boomers have built or are willing to offer? Does it make me apathetic and cynical?
No…it means if you want to “develop” me in the workplace you must inspire me, let me be part of the change. When you can’t let me be part of the change, tell me why and how decisions are being made that affect me. Value my insights and suggestions for what they are, not behind a wall of resistance based on “this is how we’ve always done it” or a filter of “you just need more experience.”
Thoughts? Is this a generational difference or just a poor working environment issue?
I certainly agree with most of what your are expressing. However, I would add one can also learn from those whom don’t inspire you. Could the “supervisor” have responded better? Of course and she should have. But that does not mean she has nothing to offer.
I agree Dave. Growth doesn’t always come from positive & inspiring leadership. In fact, when asked at the beginning of my career how I had developed my own leadership style, my typical response was that I knew what I DIDN’T want to be like as a boss and that this alone was what motivated me to become a better leader.
I believe that most people want to be inspired in their work and with their leadership. However…the dynamic of questioning experience and forcing mentors on employees is one that ruffles my Generation X feathers.
Thanks for being the first to comment Dave! I hope you come back and contribute! -Vanessa
Dave makes a good point from above and I think you add to it. We can all learn something. As far as “forced” mentoring goes I believe that it only works if the student is able to choose the mentor/teacher. We’re not in grade school anymore. I had a guy that I worked with who was a level above me once tell me he was going to be my mentor. I couldn’t stand the guy. He was a real blowhard. So I avoided avoided him as if he had H1N1.
I have never heard of a “forced” mentor before. The only thing even close to it that I can recall was when someone was doing poorly enough that if things didn’t pick up he/she would be let go. Even then I believe the person got to pick or approve of a mentor.
I too have had the same experience Dave (Anderson)….where I’ve been told that somebody was my mentor (who I had neither picked nor ever even considered to be mentor quality) and even a few times somebody informed me that I was required to have a mentor for this job and by the way…they just happened to be the most annoying, ignorant AND arrogant person in the entire organization.
I did my best to avoid this person…even came up with a series of code words my co-workers would intercom to me when she was approaching my office so I could dart out. Avoiding her became a game really…funny now, not so funny then.
Thanks for your comment Dave (Ehrenkranz)…I wonder if this forced mentor idea is a strategy formulated in response to the perception that generation X needs to be mentored so we can learn how things are done? Any boomers want to chime in on whether they have had forced mentor situations?
I don’t believe it has anything to do with GenX needing mentoring while others didn’t. I once “mentored/helped” someone who was placed on probation and he may have been a GenXer. I have also had student teachers (similar to being a mentor) who I guess were GenXers. I can’t imagine the process working well if there isn’t mutual respect.
I was born in 1944 and it looks like that makes me a Traditionalist (1925-1945) but I have always thought of myself as a Boomer (1946-1964). I am not sure if I was ever formerly “mentored/helped”.
I do believe “Mentoring” is in general good and that it became popular at a time when many GenXers were entering the job force. Rather, I do believe is a coincidence rather than a cause.
Very interesting thoughts Dave. I am honestly quite excited at the dialogue happening here…its allowing me to test some theories and hear some thoughts that I would not normally have considered…excellent!
You are on the cusp of the boomers. Many argue the specific dates of all the generations I noted. I personally subscribe to a more fluid definition of generation that is related to your state of mind and values more than your year of birth. I have several friends on the cusp of boomer and x’er who are stronger with one or the other. I’ll be writing more about academic views of the generations in future posts, maybe then you’ll identify more with one over the other.
As for mentoring, I too agree it can be incredibly powerful. And maybe it is indeed a coincidence….interesting thought.
Something else I have noticed. I believe most of your audience and certainly your questions are from and directed at the non-profit sector. I also notice from your Jan 31 entry you represent a very small minority of GenXers in your field which is dominated by people who are at or near the end of their careers. It could be in this case they are worried and justified in worrying they may not be around much longer and there IS a need to somehow pass on what they have learned. Hence the NEED to Mentor.
In my field of education soon to be teachers have always gone thru the process of student teaching which is sort of like being mentored. But I must admit when I went thru the process in California I do not recall EVER meeting with my “master” teacher. I also doubt I would have been very receptive as it was the early 70s and knew all I needed to know.
Around the early 90s a more formal process of mentoring new teachers (not student teachers) started. This was certainly an attempt to be more pro-active in helping new people be more successful and not leave the field.
Thought I’d finally weight in on the topic. Spending 25 years in the newspaper industry and basically growing up in the industry. Being a very late boomer, a 63 model, the mentoring notion is thinly veiled attempt at conformity. Moving those young guns in line with the prevailing corporate culture of any organization. Having an ex-publisher as a father you can only imagine the holiday conversation. It’s fairly simple in my experience, can the corporate culture handle “change”. Fundamentally, will the culture handle it’s staff asking a very simple question of “why”.
American Business give permission, to your employees to ask “why”. But, most importantly listen…… Great Ideas come from those who ask “why”, Apple Computer the moon shot …… you fill in the blank